Humbled

They say you fail as much as you succeed
But the more I pray, beg and plead
Happened to find my wheel of life nowhere to lead
So in times, the dreams unattained has to be concede

Perhaps I should have listened to Sheryll, when she said to “Expect not for I seek disappointment, But hope for I’m in for a surprise”.

There are just times in my life that leave me asking why and why not, what and what for, when and how does, where and which one…and hundreds of more yakity yak and dipeedidudey.

Yesterday I was totally upset with the myself, with the heaven and with the world! I would have written it down here but I simply can't, I may not be able to help my self cursing it. Instead I opted to write about TROY, though I have been planning to write about the movie since I saw it on screen. But then again, my heart and mind wasn't yet ready to talk about it coz I was simply upset!!!

So why I was upset? I had this once in a lifetime opportunity that rarely comes my way, an opportunity that could have change my entire life for a better, something that could have made my dreams a little closer to reality, it's the one that could turn things around and let all things get going...but all of it vanished, woosh…whala…gone, washed away, depleted, peeled, kicked, crashed…because that opportunity slips away as quickly as it got in.

It must be a mistake that I put so much expectation to it, I thought I would be able conquer such opportunity and that the stars and the planets were aligned in my favor, it’ll be unforgivable should I let it pass me. But it did, unfortunately. I was stunned to learn of it, speechless, my mind got whack for a sec.

What made it more painful is the time it happened when I need it most. I even literally beg and pleaded in my prayers. But the occurrence bounded to happen unknown to my sub-consciousness, I had second thoughts that I may not succeed. But I also had thoughts that my faith will save me.

Perhaps, not in the time and mercy of my Lord. To YOU remain my love and glory.

Thankfully, I hava good friends around me. Unexpectedly I received a call from my buddy, he may not know about it but the conversation was enough to ease the feeling. Thanks Dominic, I appreciate the call. It may be a short chat but its all worthy. And of course I meet Sheryll yesterday, though we were not supposed to see each other until Friday, but then again, regardless of the wound I carry, it always heal when I’m with you.