All My Weekend

One method I do in invigorating the soul and the mind is through conversing with the Heaven, prayers, in short word and deep contemplation. I spent the weekend trying to reflect on my life and on the surrounding it revolves. I try to do this at least once a month visiting St. Clare of Assisi Monastery in Katipunan, Q.C. That place has a different calm where in few hours I find peace and inner tranquility. Don’t you just love to hear the leaves when the wind gently gust to the trees and the birds chirping, while you are trying to speak with your God. Either fervently hoping for graces, thanking him, or just making an appeal and saying last few words of despair.

Unlike other churches that are so popularly being visited by devotees for novena and special intentions like those in Baclaran and Quiapo, I find the monastery the most uncrowded one. People come and go in groups of two or three and yet never I have seen the whole church being full. The most must be around 40 on one morning I came to pray there. Though regardless of the Church, Saints, Novena or number of prayers you have prayed, it’s the faith and the heart that counts the very most.

So after the only heartfelt act of my life for the Heaven. Which was thought to me by my girlfriend, she accompanied me every single time I seek to go there. I spend the rest of the day with her watching a Filipino movie starred by Aga Muhlach and Kristine Hermosa entitled “All of My Life”. She had this all planned out watching that movie since the day she saw the trailer. Though, I thought there would be last minute change of plans, like for say end up watching Shrek 2, which obviously never happened.

Anyway, the movie has a unique story compared to the usual Filipino film. The story is full of irony, well real life is actually full of it anyway, and that may have made the movies’ twist a little realistic and stirring. It’s the irony when one man, Sam (Played by Aga) accepted his fate that he may not live much longer, not until the time he realized that he found the joy and love he sought in life through a girl, Louie (played by Kristine) he met while on a cruise. Louie felt the same love and joy poured by the man who helped her bring back the pieces of her broken heart. Notwithstanding that one day she again will be brokenhearted when Sam fear of death comes their way. They chose to be together and be happy even at the few remaining breathe of Sam.

In life, sometimes, time can be more preciously weigh and felt when we are run out of it, down to our very desired seconds.

What made the movie more tasteful is the soundtrack interpreted by Gary Valenciano, here is a part of the lyrics entitled “How Did You Know”. To Sheryll this is for you :

INTRO: I remember so well
The day that you came into my life
You asked for my name
You had the most beautiful smile
My life started to change
I'd wake up each day feeling alright
With you right by my side
Makes me feel things will work out just fine

CHORUS: How did you know
I needed someone like you in my life
That there's an empty space in my heart
You came at the right time in my life
I'll never forget
How you brought the sun to shine in my life
And took all the worries and fears that I had
I guess what I'm really trying to say
It's not everyday that someone like you comes my way
No words can express how much I love you

Humbled

They say you fail as much as you succeed
But the more I pray, beg and plead
Happened to find my wheel of life nowhere to lead
So in times, the dreams unattained has to be concede

Perhaps I should have listened to Sheryll, when she said to “Expect not for I seek disappointment, But hope for I’m in for a surprise”.

There are just times in my life that leave me asking why and why not, what and what for, when and how does, where and which one…and hundreds of more yakity yak and dipeedidudey.

Yesterday I was totally upset with the myself, with the heaven and with the world! I would have written it down here but I simply can't, I may not be able to help my self cursing it. Instead I opted to write about TROY, though I have been planning to write about the movie since I saw it on screen. But then again, my heart and mind wasn't yet ready to talk about it coz I was simply upset!!!

So why I was upset? I had this once in a lifetime opportunity that rarely comes my way, an opportunity that could have change my entire life for a better, something that could have made my dreams a little closer to reality, it's the one that could turn things around and let all things get going...but all of it vanished, woosh…whala…gone, washed away, depleted, peeled, kicked, crashed…because that opportunity slips away as quickly as it got in.

It must be a mistake that I put so much expectation to it, I thought I would be able conquer such opportunity and that the stars and the planets were aligned in my favor, it’ll be unforgivable should I let it pass me. But it did, unfortunately. I was stunned to learn of it, speechless, my mind got whack for a sec.

What made it more painful is the time it happened when I need it most. I even literally beg and pleaded in my prayers. But the occurrence bounded to happen unknown to my sub-consciousness, I had second thoughts that I may not succeed. But I also had thoughts that my faith will save me.

Perhaps, not in the time and mercy of my Lord. To YOU remain my love and glory.

Thankfully, I hava good friends around me. Unexpectedly I received a call from my buddy, he may not know about it but the conversation was enough to ease the feeling. Thanks Dominic, I appreciate the call. It may be a short chat but its all worthy. And of course I meet Sheryll yesterday, though we were not supposed to see each other until Friday, but then again, regardless of the wound I carry, it always heal when I’m with you.

TROY

Has anyone in the blog world have not talked about the Brad Pitt movie? Well at least most of the blog sites I visited have mentioned something about Troy. And I don't want to brag anymore this supposed to be epic movie. So I'll make this swift, it's an okay movie; perhaps I may have put so much expectation to it that it failed to reach the classy movie I thought it would be. Though I’ll be gentle with my words here, my girlfriend kindda like the movie, yeah she is a Brad Pitt fan, but who isn't? She is but a woman, we watched it together over the weekend.

Anyway, back to the movie, the battle scenes, which should be a highlight, was a bit boring. It wasn't at the level I've seen in the LOTR trilogy. No way this can be compared to LOTR, even with the presence of Orlando Bloom who played as Paris, guess what? Paris according to the book I've read is supposed to be a great archer. Coincidence? (Paris and Legolas) I guess the makers of the film tried to avoid this scenario that the Paris portrayed came out as a weak and lame prince, he was only seen using an arrow and bow almost at the end of the movie.

On second thought it's an okay movie, especially with the presence of Peter O'toole, one of the legend actors of our time. He played as King Priam of Troy. One emotional scene, which I can say is the most unforgettable, is the time when King Priam kneeled and pleaded for his sons' dead body. He even kissed and praised the hands of Achilles (played by Brad Pitt) who caused the life of his beloved son.

Then again, should you find free time to go the theater and watch Troy, well…do so!

The dilemma I am having right now is the contrasting story told by the story of the movie to the story based on a book as told by my literature teacher in my senior year. What a heck? I’ll not wait for Homer to come from his grave to find out the truth. As long as I am entertained by the story it’s enough for me.

Sometime in a Palace

In a few weeks time my country again will subdue for the next six years under a lady known to have an iron fist, it’s the kind of iron that is as thick as her tongues promises of hope. Not many know that I have met this lady in person on several occasions in my life, the same lady I refer to as the “Witch that lives in a palace”. In the entire young life of mine I have shake the hands and once spoke to 2 former president and the current president of the country. I can say during those rare occasions I felt the electricity much to the excitement of meeting someone with so much great power that can uplift or yet ruin the life of my countrymen. But nothing could be as gratifying as to step in their official home.

During the post-EDSA I revolution, my family and I, together with a cousin and an uncle went to the home of the most powerful man in the land called the “Malacañan Palace”. It was opened to the public like a museum, after the successful revolt against a 20-year rule of dictatorship and oppression. The seemingly endless drama that is engrave in every wall of the palace, tells the rich history of the nation-in full glory and in most dire days. I was a kid then, not knowing what was it like to enter a palace, so just like the hundreds of people lined up towards the gate under the heat of the sun, I patiently waited for hours to get in. All I know then was that we would visit the home of the Marcoses months after they fled for their lives from the angst of thousands of Filipinos who marched towards the Palace. Never in my life I have seen a home as grandeur as the Malacañan; the wooden stairs, carpeted floors, the paintings, the chandleries, a huge aquarium with large fishes, the piano, the room filled with Imelda’s shoes, and so on and on…but what really stuck to my mind until now were the bedrooms with huge beds, especially that of Ferdinand Marcos’ that smells more like a drug store. He was a sick man, my father said, not only he has a sick mind but also he was ailing from an unknown disease. Of course coming from a middle class family what thrilled me more was the fascination of living in such a grandioso lifestyle, first and foremost is the fully air-conditioned home, the nice carpets where I can just roll and play, own the same size aquarium, and many other simple thoughts for a kid like me then who have wish a fabulous life. Though disappointed at some time when I realized I saw no toys in that huge place. Poor life for the kid who would live there.

As we strolled around the gates, I saw many guards carrying huge ammunitions, perhaps at that time everybody may have still feel the tensions around the palace, a hangover from the historical EDSA people power. An event, which many say, put the Philippines into the map of the world. I hear many say back then, that they are proud to be a Filipino.

As for me, by the time we say goodbye to Malacañan Palace that day. I wondered when can I get back and see the splendid place again…Well, certainly not in a few weeks or months…as my father had left abroad to seek and to provide greener pasture for us, my uncle went back to the province and rarely hear something from him, my cousin was already working, and I had gone finished through grade school, high school and college and still I haven’t had the opportunity to get a second visit to the Palace.

Until…sometime a few years ago I worked as an event organizer, this time the event is to be held inside the Malacañan Palace, it’s in the Heroes Hall to be specific. So in no time I see myself on the way to the palace after more than15 years from the first time I got there. On the way, I kind have reminisced of the old days, I felt somewhat uncomfortable for no reason why. By the way, my purpose in the Palace is not to have another sight seeing but a business one, and that is to make an appointment with President Arroyo who will be the guest of honor for the event I was organizing. The Christmas holiday was in the air, the reason by the time we reached the main entrance door, Palace staff were busy decorating, putting green Christmas lights embed with thick plastic green leaves and a huge elegant Christmas tree. A beauty it was. As I waited in the lounge I still feel so uncomfortable, I was perspiring a lot, not sure why, I just look and headed for a men’s room. There I contemplated, and realized I have to…I have to take out stuff from my stomach. And yes!!! After more than15 years of a much long waited second visit in the grandioso Palace I see my self sitting in one of the Palace toilets. If what they say is true, that everything that comes in and out of the Malacañan Palace is already part of its rich history. Then from that day on, I consider Malacanan Palace history was one stuff richer.

Headache

Last night while the moons' light was at its most vivid...in the hour when silence was deafening and while everyone else was in the middle of their sleep...I was awaken of unimaginable pain. The pain that grips my head in full strength, it sore like something was trying take my eyes out of the socket...I can breath but barely can I move myself. An inch of a motion, the pain pound more... I settle and the pain thumps twice. Helpless I was… roll, toss and turn, left and right. Till I gave up, that’s it…the body and spirit may only take a certain stinging.

I woke up my folks, took a pain reliever…as always western medicines’ effect works twice faster in my body. I’ am alright now but still of a distress mode. I’ll be alright till the next migraine attack.